FMA: Fool's Paradise
by Muriena Pandragon
Summary: Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse are only just returning from one mission to find another already in progress.  Trains are being destroyed and murder victims are popping up everywhere.  On top of that, the brothers have a new problem, Alice Galway.
1. Prologue

Prologue

27 February 1914

Neat and efficient, that is what they were - whoever "they" were. A white blanket already lay across the dead corps.

"They did a number on that one."

Colonel Mustang withheld his concerns and merely glanced at Major Hughes.

"To think they'd find a dead body all the way up there." Hughes let out a long, low whistle. "Not surprised though. They seem to like 'high' places." He chuckled at his own joke.

Mustang remained silent. Crowded speculations were coursing through his mind.

"Hey, Roy, don't look like that," said Hughes, catching the sour look on Mustang's face. "There's time to look miserable after the press hears about this - Oh look...They're here already..."

Through the rumpus of military officers and investigators walked a woman, notepad in hand, stopping every few persons to ask a question. Other reporters were on the sidelines, unable to pass the guard but still inquiring about the resent tragic event and its connections.

The lady flitted about but stopped suddenly when she caught sight of Mustang and Hughes. She immediately started toward them.

"How annoying," Hughes sighed, scratching the back of his head. "How'd she even get over here?"

The square was a mess. Shoes clicked wildly on the cobblestone walk. Noise was everywhere. The wind was cold and bit the skin. Only a fountain, at the center of mayhem, was peacefully undisturbed. Icy water rolled off the stone angels, reflecting moonlight and lamplight off its smooth surface.

"It's enchanting," said a woman. She stared down from her perch far above the crowds of military officers and hotel guests.

"We should have left a bigger mess for them to clean up." A man pushed himself away from the stone wall he was leaning on and joined his companion at the edge of the building. "It would've been more entertaining." He played idly with a rose, twisting it back and forth, observing the scarlet petals.

"For you maybe, but I like the clean cut effect. Besides, they said we couldn't do anything else." She shifted in the shadows to peer at him.

"Of course, I had forgotten." He lifted a hand and placed it on his forehead in mock recognition. "We should pay them a visit, you and I." His hand dropped and he played with the rose again.

"They wouldn't like that." The woman shivered against the cold.

"Perhaps we should pay him a visit then?" the man asked. He used the rose to gesture at the black haired colonel fifty feet below them. "He might need a little push to get going after all."

"In time," said the woman and pulled the rose from his hand with delicate, pale fingers. "Everything will fall in time."

A soldier standing by the wall in the square jumped. At what, he didn't know. He turned to find the source of his fright. A rose lay on the stone, lit by the eerie yellow of street lamps, a blood red stain in the snow.


	2. A Train of Thought

**_Chapter One_**

**A Train of Thought**

_5 March 1914_

"Nice one Al!"

"Thanks Ed."

"You can't defeat me! I have the machines, the technology! I can't be..."

Suddenly, from above, one of the many hanging crates fell, landing square on the back of the maniac mechanic.

"Looks like the crate did all the work for us."

"What do we do now, Ed?"

"Wait, I suppose. The military will have to pick him up some time."

Edward Elric, a boy freshly 15, sat down on the crate. The dizzy man below made a small noise of protest. Edward's companion, Alphonse Elric, chuckled at his older brother's antics.

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"Good work, Fullmetal. In all honesty, I didn't think you could do it." Colonel Mustang didn't look at Edward as he watched the whack-haired mechanic disentangle himself from cords, which he had managed to tangle in under the crate.

"And why would that be?" Edward asked, looking up at the Colonel.

"The machines were much bigger than you." Mustang nodded as the mechanic was cuffed.

Edward raised a fist. "Say that to my face, you god-complex colonel!"

"I believe I just did," Mustang said, "But enough with that, I have another assignment for you."

Edward's shoulders slumped. "Another? Colonel, you'll kill me with all these assignments! Unless that's your goal…?" He eyed the Colonel suspiciously.

"Of course not Fullmetal," Mustang said, in a sort of way that would imply otherwise, "why would it be?" He shook his head. "No, it's just a simple task of security."

"Security?" Edward looked confused.

Mustang sighed. "Due to some…" he paused momentarily, "complaints about the lack of female influence in the military, the Fuhrer is hosting a party to convince the public otherwise."

"How?"

"Specifically," Mustang continued as though Edward hadn't said anything, "a sort of commemoration ceremony, focused on recognizing the female authority."

"That's stupid," Edward scoffed. He looked at Mustang. "And you want me there for security reasons?"

"And onlooker." Mustang smirked. "You can handle that, can't you Fullmetal?"

"Of course I can!" Edward exclaimed indignantly. "I just don't understand the security," he mumbled.

"You already know many people don't like the military," Mustang explained, "A formal affair involving most of the military's personnel would be the perfect place to attempt sabotage, " he frowned, "especially when women are involved."

"What you're saying is women are less suspicious," Edward concluded.

Mustang shrugged. "More or less."

"And we're going to go all the way to Central for this..." Edward already knew the answer.

"Naturally." Mustang glanced at him. "What would make you think otherwise?"

"The fact you're not even stationed in Central, there's a start..." Edward mumbled grumpily.

"Ah, Fullmetal," Mustang laughed, "don't insult me." He clapped Edward on the back. "They need fine alchemists like us," he said. "Besides, I have another party in Central to attend."

"I should have known."

Mustang crossed his arms again. "I figured as we're nearly halfway there, due to our technology friend, we might as well travel straight, eh, Fullmetal?"

"Joy..."

"Lieutenant Havoc." Mustang turned to face a tall man with blond hair and a cigarette.

"Sir!" The young man stood at attention.

"See to it the Elric brothers get the first train out of here to Central," Mustang ordered and smirked at the disappointed and glum expression on Edward's face. "Cheer up, Fullmetal, it's not as bad as you think." Edward didn't answer, rather, he refrained from sticking his tongue out at his superior officer.

"Yes Sir." Jean Havoc saluted and turned to the Elric brothers. "Come one boys," he said, "you've got a train to catch." And grinned.

"Ed?" Alphonse asked as they followed, "Why don't you want to go to Central?"

"More work, that's why," Edward grumped.

"Oh brother…" Alphonse sighed.

"Sir?" Startled, Mustang turned around, stopping mid-step to face Riza Hawkeye. "You do realize what you risk," she said, "sending Fullmetal away now?"

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, I am quite aware." The Colonel resumed course and continued to the large lorry before him; Hawkeye followed dutifully. "But is it really much of a risk?"

"Sir." Her voice was wary.

"Good." Mustang gestured to the stout man helping the mechanic into the back of the truck. "Breda!" he said, "Make sure he doesn't get away too quick. We don't want to loose our loony."

"Loony!" the madman exclaimed. "I'll show you loony!" His head whipped round wildly as he got into the truck. "Where's that kid! I'll kick his keister back to the crib!" He paused suddenly, something occurring to him. "What happened anyway?"

"My good loon," Mustang said as he reached for the door handle. "You've just met the Fullmetal Alchemist." He shut the door, patted the van, and off it drove.

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Alice dashed around the corner, skidding as she did. Plastering her body against the wall, she held her breath. She could hear the angry footsteps running toward her.

"Alice, I'll kill you! Just wait until I catch up!"

"Which you won't," Alice mumbled quietly to herself. She didn't intend to be that slow, or that stupid.

The steps ran past and onward, and slowly Alice started inching her way away from the corner and down the street. As she did, she glanced down at the newspaper stand beside her. A headline caught her eye, written in bold black letters.

**ANOTHER MILITARY FALL THROUGH**

Very quickly, without the concessioner's notice, she snatched up a local tabloid and tucked it away in her bag. Then, darting as quickly as she could across the street, she ran down another alley, panting hard from the effort, but pleased with herself all the same. After taking several rounding streets, she bolted for the nearest train station in Paumis. All she had to do was hop the first train to Central City and she was home free. By the time they figured out where she was headed, she would be long gone.

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_6 March 1914_

"Aaaaaaaaah." Edward's mouth was wide open, his tongue flailing about as he emitted sound. He reclined lazily into the back of the train bench.

"Ed, you should really cover your mouth when you yawn," Alphonse scolded. He sat directly across from his brother.

Edward waved a hand dismissively. "Ah, what does it matter? Nobody's looking." He couldn't possibly have known if anyone was or was not, as the train was overcrowded with people, both standing and sitting and no elbow space.

"It's polite Ed and I'm here..." Alphonse said almost dispiritedly.

Edward wanted to stretch his arms, but there was a man standing close by with a nervous expression on his face, as though any more sudden movements might send him falling to the ground. Across from him sat two women, talking vigorously––or at least, one of them talked vigorously, the other sat and listened. "Man, it's really crowded on this train," Edward complained.

Alphonse ceased looking out the window to answer Edward. "Maybe there's a festival?"

"Could be." Edward scrutinized some of the passengers, searching for anything of a clue. "Unless they're all invited to the Colonel's party," he said, turning back to Alphonse with a grin.

"Excuse me, but would you mind keeping your voices down? I'm trying to have a conversation here."

Ed glared across the isle at the large lady.

"Brig, that wasn't very polite," said her friend.

"Sorry, Girtty," the lady continued as though nothing had happened. "What were you saying? Yes, I've seen the papers."

"Brig did you hear a word I just said?"

"Of course, dear." She looked at her nails uncaringly. "I said I have seen the papers."

"I didn't mean, oh never mind." Her friend sighed dejectedly. "Do you think all that's why the train's so full?" she asked at last.

"I couldn't have my own compartment. What do you think?" the lady said harshly, clearly displeased with the whole situation.

"No need to snap." Her friend looked reproachful. "I would never have thought a murder would bring people to a festival, that's all."

Ed and Al's ears perked up.

"Obviously it would," said the lady, her tone full of criticism. "It's publicity. Everyone's interested. That's why it happened. A stunt is what I call it, nothing more. No one is that stupid. Do don't actually think a real murder happened out there, do you?" She scoffed when her friend nodded sincerely. "Well," she said. "It doesn't matter to me. Just as long as the next train is a nice one, I'll be happy." Her friend didn't respond.

At last they reached a station. Much to Edward and Alphonse's dismay, however, it was not a station marked on the route. The conductors voice rang loud over the speakers. "Last stop! All passengers, please clear the train. Thank you for your service!" There was a collective sigh throughout the train as people collected their luggage and exited.

"Now what?" Edward demanded. "I thought we were supposed to go all the way to Central."

Alphonse pointed to the ticket master. "He might know."

They approached the frazzled looking man. When asked, the man did nothing more than sniff irritably and say there were no trains going to Central City from his station. When asked why, he coughed awkwardly and shooed them away, muttering something about "children these days."

"The Kippax has a station," Alphonse said after studding a map located on the station platform. "It's only a few miles north east of here." When he turned around, Edward was staring at a crowd, listening. "Ed?"

"What?" Edward looked up at him. "Sure, we'll head that way." He hesitated before walking forward. "Looks like rain."

"Ed, what murder were they talking about?" Alphonse asked.

"I don't know," Edward said honestly, "Looks like it's somewhere near here though, most of the people are gone." The platform didn't have nearly as many people as there were on the train.

"You don't think it was someone important, do you?" Alphonse asked suddenly. He certainly hoped not.

Edward glanced at the news stand as they passed it. A common topic covered all the front pages. "Nah." He waved a dismissive hand. "If it was, we'd know about it. The Colonel would have told us. It's probably something local; we passed a lot of small towns. The military's probably already taken care of everything, so don't worry about it." Yet he knew it was bigger than all that.


	3. On the Way

**A/N: **Alright, so this is the second chapter, third installment of _FMA: Fool's Paradise. _Sorry it isn't as long as others...or as action packed; I really wanted to get it out though before I over thought it. . Please enjoy! And review if you like!

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Two<br>**_**On the Way **

_6 March 1914_

The Central Post––1914 March Edition

**_ANOTHER MILITARY FALL THROUGH_**

_by Reporter Jaz Pavlov_

_A middle-aged man was found dead in the Great Hall of the Lily Hotel Grand Royal in New Optain at 9:00 pm, last Sunday night. The man was identified as the late Mr. Brasen Rain Kevlyn, age 45, a well-to-do merchant visiting from Northern Creta. Mr. Kevlyn was found by a guest of the hotel who was returning from the evening Rose Wine Festival._

_Mr. Kevlyn was escorted by several guards of the Central Military unit. With the military so close at hand, the public wonder how the murder was committed. "The military is useless, now days," says John Corker, the elderly sponsor of the Rose Wine Festival. "All the security and a man still died. That's the fourth murder in the last month. Why can't they just catch those people? Military constancy is failing."_

_Why is our military so helpless? Is our only defense really falling apart? Or are they in on it? Mrs. Carla Baker lays out reasons to believe our state's military may be helping our enemies, yesterday morning at the Conference of Press, West City in. . ._

_Cont. page 5..._

Alice folded the newspaper and closed her eyes. This had to be the single most embarrassing moment of her life. Potentially the second should anyone actually stumble upon her and glance up. Her skirt (curse the darn thing) wasn't long enough, and she felt polkadots were at the mercy of the general public. Naturally she would pick that day to climb a tree she couldn't climb down. Her bag, the problem causer, was on the ground, quite safe. She wondered faintly how she managed to get stuck, but she figured that last jump was easier up than down. She couldn't imagine standing on a branch so thin. Goodness! It might have broke beneath her, and then what? Limp all the way to Central? Certainly not!

At least the rain stopped.

She tucked the paper in her jacket. It struck her as very odd that Mr. Kelvyn was murdered in a public place. The whole ordeal was pretty obvious, the body wasn't exactly in a inconspicuous situation. She thought the assassin was trying to make a point. With the Military's late trouble, it was no wonder people bashed any sort of attempted support. She didn't think the point was helpful. She didn't think he was hung either, as the article said. That was too easy. Something else certainly happened––what, she didn't know. Perhaps he was dispatched by polkadots. . .

The branch was only a few feet below her; if she was careful, she could make the drop without completely missing it. How she managed to get up the tree was a wonder to herself. After twisting around a bit, she prepared to drop––and looked up sharply when she heard a yelp.

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Alphonse managed to catch Edward before was murdered by the wild hey cart. "Ed! Are you alright?"

"Watch where you're going, you maniac!" Edward yelped. "Ugh...I'm covered!" The front of Edward's pants and favorite red coat was covered in mud. "Thanks, Al." He added as Alphonse set him carefully by his side. He looked down at himself. "This is so inconvenient!" He clapped his hands together and lay them over his clothes, which clear very nearly of all the mud and water. "I guess that's gunna have to do it for now," he said a second later.

The brothers continued walking down the dirt road to Kippax, Alphonse carrying Edward suitcase out of sheer insistence. "Why do you think the trains aren't working, Brother?" Alphonse asked after a time.

"I don't know, Al," Edward shrugged his shoulders. "It might be something with the tracks themselves."

"I wonder if they're having a maintenance problem." Alphonse looked up at the sky. "I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case."

"Yeah, but to cause as much trouble as it is," Edward said thoughtfully, "It's got to be quite the problem..." His voice drifted off distractedly. "Hey, Al, what's that?" Edward nodded toward a pile of red at the foot of a tree before approaching it himself. "What do you know," he said, lifting and inspecting the item. "It's a bag. A nice one, too."

"I wonder where–?" Alphonse was interrupted by a yelp before he could finish.

Moaning and groaning, Edward tried to shift the weight off himself, but it remained ever heavy and unmoved. Alphonse was by his side in a matter of seconds, helping the fallen stranger off his brother. Edward felt an elbow in his stomach when the girl sat up.

"That was quite the fall!" Alphonse exclaimed. "Are you alright?" The question was directed entirely at the girl and Edward groaned a sort of "I'm fine, Al––no really, thanks for asking" as he rolled over.

"Yes, thank you–-sorry 'bout that...I didn't––that is––It certainly wasn't intentional." She straightened her skirt, tugging at it slightly to make it land nearer her knees, and turned to Edward. "I'm really sorry for landing on you like that. I didn't mean to be on top of you. I was trying to land––well, I wasn't really trying to do anything. I didn't intend to slip." She paused for a second. "Or even be up there, as a matter of fact. Oh!" She picked the bag up from the ground where Edward had dropped it and made a face. "Trouble maker," She accused.

The brothers glanced at each other concertedly. This girl was a bit odd.

"Do you mind telling us your name?" Alphonse asked hesitantly.

The girl looked at him. "I'm sorry! I'm being rude." She slung the bag over her shoulder and held out her hand. "My name is Alice Galway."

Alphonse took her hand. "Alphonse Elric, and my brother Edward." Edward nodded.

Alice paused. "Elric?" She let their hands drop. "It's nice to meet you!" And smiled, bowing ever so slightly.

"And you!" Alphonse said happily. "Um. May I ask you another question?"

"Go for it."

"Why were you in the tree?" Alphonse asked the question on both brothers' minds.

A light shade of pink painted Alice's cheeks. "I," she said as she glanced sheepishly to the side, "was trying to get my bag, which was inconveniently tossed into the tree."

If Alphonse could have blinked confusedly, he would have. "What?"

"BUT!" Alice waved her hand dramatically in the air. "It doesn't matter now!" She dropped her arm. "So, where are you two headed?"

"Central City," Edward said, his hands in his pockets. "Or we will be when we find a working train."

Alice's expression was suddenly serious. "They're not working, are they? So inconvenient..." She said the last half quietly, more to herself than the boys.

"You're telling me," Edward let out an exasperated sigh.

"There should be a working train in the next city," Alice said suddenly. "That's why I'm going there. Kippax is pretty big, so it should have a few trains still running, if not at least one to Central."

"That's right where we were going," Alphonse said. "It's only just down this road, right?"

Alice nodded. "Yep! Not really far at all. Well," she placed a finger on her chin. "I guess it's a bit of a walk...but compared to walking all the way to Central City from here, it's not bad." She readjusted her bag. "Shall we?"

Edward and Alphonse followed as Alice charged on ahead, chattering away. "Have either of you ever been this way? It's really a lovely walk, if you don't mind open spaces and obnoxious trees. But the view is really spectacular from some of the hills. I've passed this way a few times, when I didn't feel like taking the train. Walking is healthier anyway."

"She sure talks a lot," Edward mumbled. Alphonse stifled at laugh. "But she's alright." They looked at the peculiar blond girl, who was saying something about the conditions of white marble and it's use in museums and stations.

"Ed," Alphonse asked suddenly, "will the Colonel be expecting us? You haven't called him since we left." He looked at Edward with a meaningful glance.

Edward pouted and turned his face away from his little brother. "Probably," he said in a monotone. "He said to get ourselves back there as soon as possible."

"To attend the ceremony," Alphonse finished.

"Yeah," Edward said quietly. "For security." He lowered his voice, "What I want to know is if the need for security has to do with the murder a week ago." Alphonse leaned toward Edward. "It was all over the papers––you saw them––and people still talk about it. It had to be pretty big if it happened last week and it's still on the front page."

"You said you didn't think it was anything important!" Alphonse accused.

"I didn't!" Edward objected. "But then I thought more about it!"

"What are you two doing, standing there like a couple of snails." Alice put her hands on her hips. She was standing a few paces ahead of them, having (upon the realization that neither boy was following) turned around and walked back.

Edward and Alphonse hadn't realized they'd stopped. "Sorry!" Alphonse apologized as Edward scratched the back of his head.

"No," she said with a smile. "It's alright." Alice nodded down the road. "Look, we're almost there. Just a few more miles a we'll be in town by dinner!"

"Dinner?" Edward's stomach suddenly growled, rather loudly and hysterically enough to put Alice in a fit of laughter, although that didn't seem too hard to accomplish.


End file.
